How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
- How many can you afford?
- Three - one to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company.
What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
What do you call 5000 dead criminal defense lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start!
A good start!
What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?
Jewelry.
Jewelry.
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.
His lips are moving.
How does an attorney sleep?
First he lies on one side, and then on the other.
First he lies on one side, and then on the other.
How do you get a group of personal injury lawyers to smile for a picture?
Just say "Fees!"
Just say "Fees!"
"You seem to be in some distress," said the kindly judge to the witness. "Is anything the matter?"
"Well, your Honour," said the witness, "I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects."
"Well, your Honour," said the witness, "I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects."
A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.
"Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.
"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"
"Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"
"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"
"Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.
"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"
"Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"
"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"
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